First Impressions

I was right about the slums.

We arrived in Beirut around 7 Sunday evening and my uncle and cousin surprised us at the airport (my dad swore he didn’t tell anyone he was coming…he wanted to make it a surprise for everyone. But I’m confident that Arabs can never keep their mouths shut anyways). My dad was planning on driving straight to my grandparents’ house in the mountains but my uncle insisted that we spend the night in Beirut getting some shut-eye before we tackle the slopes. So we ended up sleeping at his house that night and I saw a couple of cousins, including a new addition to the family! My dad’s cousin, the one that works for Al Mobarrat, the organization I’m going to be working for, came by after dinner to greet us and to talk to me about what I’ll be doing. It was a really good conversation and I found out that I’m officially written down to teach English to orphans three times a week, starting next Monday. I was ecstatic! He also told me they do a summer camp for the orphans in two of the most beautiful places in Lebanon. It’s a 2-day camp and they just busy themselves with a lot of activities and such. That’s happening towards the end of July. He also brought up the microfinance that Al Mobarrat is involved in…except it’s not really microfinance. They don’t expect their clients to ever pay them back. So it’s more of some goodwill donations. All of their clients are needy women from small villages, and they have an extensive list of many more women who are interested in getting money to start their own small business. I was really interested to hear about this but I really want to help them develop the program as much as I can this summer.

We headed out early to the mountains the next day, a mere 2 hour drive from Beirut…except my dad had never driven the road by himself. Haha, so we definitely off-roaded it a couple of times. That’s when I remembered that the last time we drove this path I threw up. It’s a beautiful drive…we drive for a good hour parallel to the Mediterranean shore and then we head east towards the foothills and finally to the mountains.

I did not recognize my dad’s village at all until we got to the cemetery and we got out and read a prayer at my grandfather’s grave. It was especially emotional for my dad, but I was just perplexed that I didn’t recognize the town at all. We kept on driving for about a minute until we got the road that my grandparents’ house is on…and even then everything looked so different. The village got hit during the 2006 war between Hezbollah and Israel harder than I had ever imagined. Virtually every house on that road, including my grandparents’, had been completely demolished by airstrikes. The good news is that almost all of it is rebuilt…it just looks completely different. A lot more grey and a lot less color. It’s depressing. The first person that we saw (but I unfortunately didn’t recognize her) was my dad’s good neighbor…she was at the gate of my grandparents’ house when she waved us in. We excitedly walked into the house (another thing I didn’t recognize at all) and found my aunt Hala and my grandmother.

My grandmother developed Parkinson’s recently. I haven’t seen her in four years but I’m glad to saw that appearance-wise, she hasn’t changed much. And of course she’s the same cute grandmother that I always knew! But she has developed a nervous quiver in her left hand and she’s much, much quieter than before. That just kills me. She was so excited to see us though and started crying when we walked into the room (from joy of course!).

Word definitely goes around quickly. Within half an hour people started coming in and the tea started boiling and the baklava was passed around. The house was as lively as I had always remembered it and we spent the entire day talking to people and catching up and I definitely spent some time trying to remember who’s who.


A Few Hours Later…

I just finished my evening prayer. I prayed for a lot this time. For my grandma’s Parkinson’s disease to not progress any further, for God to forgive me for the sins I’ve committed, for Him to give me strength to put all my potential into these next five weeks. Today, I got so much criticism and just as much support. I forgot how narrow-minded some villages are. People who don’t really have exposure to a variety of cultures and peoples and circumstances can’t seem to grasp that I’ll be working with orphans and the disabled and those with psychological problems from the war. My cousin’s aunt gave me a lot of support today and told me of her own experience of working with an Italian-based NGO after the 2006 war helping kids step out of the psychological horrors of what they saw. But a mere 20 minutes later I saw an old friend of mine who I used to spend a lot of time with last time I was here and she gave me nothing but skepticism about what my plans are in Lebanon. It’s really, really sad because it’s virtually out of my control. I don’t take it personally and yes, I was a bit upset to hear that kind of thinking, but it’s something inevitable and something I can’t fix single-handedly. I’m not here to prove them wrong, I’m here to do what I want to do.

In other news, my brother is really, really sick still. He has diarrhea now and not a single doctor can diagnose him with the same thing as the previous doctor. I’m completely disenchanted with the medical system now. I hope he gets a lot better but things aren’t looking too well right now.
I haven’t been drinking enough water and the altitude is getting to me. I should really watch that. I forgot how bad my asthma has progressed in the last four years. So I’ve been completely out of it all day. I did devote a lot of time today to photographing the landscape. I think I’ll go upstairs to the balconies tomorrow and take pictures from there too.

So far so good! I just wish people really understood my true intentions and weren’t so critical of everything. Yes, it’s definitely untraditional, but who ever said untraditional was bad? Some of the greatest things have been accomplished by stepping out of the box…


Peace,
Asil

Off to the Orient!

I’m sitting in the Frankfurt Airport right now, killing some time before our 2:10 PM flight to Beirut. We’ve actually been in Frankfurt since 7:30 this morning, but I think we are too tired to care. The trip from Dallas to Frankfurt actually wasn’t that bad. I didn’t have a seat assignment when I showed up and we thought I might be left behind, but they figured it out…it took a LONG time, but they did eventually. American Airlines is trying to save some green so instead of the 2 or 3 people working at the gate before boarding, there was one lady dealing with an overbooked overseas flight and a ton of people on standby. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.
There were some cute German toddlers sitting in our same aisle. When I wasn’t passed out, I was playing peek-a-boo with them or doing silly things. Their moms looked crazy distressed travelling with restless kids for 9.5 hours.

So here I am. My head is pounding and I don’t think jet lag is going to be that bad, but I wish we could just get to Beirut already. And I thought it would hit me that I’m going to Lebanon by now…but it really hasn’t. Haha, I don’t know what’s up with that. I did realize, however, that there was an entire war between the time I last visited and now. So I’m interested in seeing whatever damage is left of the war between Hezbollah and Israel in 2006. I always remembered the area around the Beirut Airport being really, really poor-looking. I think I remember a lot of slums being around there last time I visited. I might be wrong…I guess we’ll find out in a few hours.

Ciao for now,
Asil

From Dallas to Frankfurt...

I’m sitting in the Frankfurt Airport right now, killing some time before our 2:10 PM flight to Beirut. We’ve actually been in Frankfurt since 7:30 this morning, but I think we are too tired to care. The trip from Dallas to Frankfurt actually wasn’t that bad. I didn’t have a seat assignment when I showed up and we thought I might be left behind, but they figured it out…it took a LONG time, but they did eventually. American Airlines is trying to save some green so instead of the 2 or 3 people working at the gate before boarding, there was one lady dealing with an overbooked overseas flight and a ton of people on standby. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her.

There were some cute German toddlers sitting in our same aisle. When I wasn’t passed out, I was playing peek-a-boo with them or doing silly things. Their moms looked crazy distressed travelling with restless kids for 9.5 hours.

So here I am. My head is pounding and I don’t think jet lag is going to be that bad, but I wish we could just get to Beirut already. And I thought it would hit me that I’m going to Lebanon by now…but it really hasn’t. Haha, I don’t know what’s up with that. I did realize, however, that there was an entire war between the time I last visited and now. So I’m interested in seeing whatever damage is left of the war between Hezbollah and Israel in 2006. I always remembered the area around the Beirut Airport being really, really poor-looking. I think I remember a lot of slums being around there last time I visited. I might be wrong…I guess we’ll find out in a few hours.


Ciao for now,
Asil

Unwritten

So, I'm back from Lebanon. I flew in last Tuesday evening and was reunited with the family for a brief couple of days until I moved back up to Sherman for RA training.

It was a phenomenal trip. Words cannot describe all the things I did and saw and experienced. The best experiences were the ones I thought I would never take...the ones that involved a bit of risk and deception and unconventional tactics. But all that aside, it was also a very, very difficult trip. It was a challenge to my self-confidence but at the same time I have never felt this much willpower in my life. Ambition is a word that had less strong of meaning before this summer. I am Lebanese and saw a side of Lebanon I had never knew existed.

Since I didn't get internet much while I was there, I wrote everyday in Microsoft Word. I'll be posting all those entries on my blog eventually.

The thing I cannot put in words though is how I feel right now. While I was in Lebanon there was a lot that I saw and could act upon and I felt empowered because I was physically present. Here, I am isolated from all the things and projects I was working on. Who am I to say what to do and when to do it to people my senior who are overseas and have been running this orphanage (inefficiently) for years. I know what direction to take it just seems like I'm stuck in place for now.

More later...I have to head back to RA training.

Asil

I'm on plane, yeah

No, I'm still sitting at home. I don't know what encouraged me to go for a run after breakfast but there I was at 6:30 AM, running outside in the actually nice weather.

I'm done and I'm ready ready ready! I feel like I'm going to NYC and coming back in a week. It hasn't hit me that I'm going overseas and I don't think it will hit me until we're in Frankfurt for the layover.

Either way, I'm not sure if I'll have internet. Which means this blog may be dry for a while :( I'll be writing every day, just maybe not on here.

See you all in August!

Peace,
Asil :)

Kiss Me Thru The Phone

My mother's current favorite song:

I need you in my life, yeah all day everyday I need ya
And every time I see ya my feelings get deeper
I miss ya, I miss ya, I really wanna kiss you but I can't
Six, seven, eight, triple nine, eight, two, one, two.

Baby you know that I miss you, I wanna get with you tonight
But I cannot baby girl and that's the issue
Girl you know I miss you, I just wanna kiss you
But I can't right now so baby kiss me thru the phone, I'll see you later on
Kiss me thru the phone, see you when I get home.

Alright, so I am all packed and ready to leave to Lebanon by 2 this morning and what happens? Insomnia kicks in. Yes, my friends--that's what the tea and the company and the dark chocolate do to you. And Kiss Me Thru The Phone. Jack Johnson is bad packing music, because I got nothing done while listening to his music. But maybe he's the trick to falling asleep. It's 5:38 AM and I am still wiiiiiiiiiide-awake. I've been tossing and turning in bed for a good 3 hours, but what's the use now?

So what do I do? I have Lucky Charms for an early breakfast. Today is a good day.

I'm spending my last few hours in the states enjoying these Western luxuries that I probably won't have in the next 5 weeks: 24/7 running water, hot water, phone service, internet, artificially colored and flavored snacks, Saturday morning cartoons, on-demand electricity, On Demand in general, and a cat that doesn't frighten me. I've heard that in some parts of Lebanon the electricity is coming only 5 hours a day. It used to be 12 when I was last there in 2005, but I guess the recession has taken a toll on it.

Yes, I'm the typical spoiled white kid in the eyes of my Middle Eastern counterparts and the classic middle class American college student in America.

Today was a hectic day. Enough said. Sometimes I would have to remind my mom that I was the one travelling to Lebanon, not she. She stresses over travel a lot.

Things to do:

- Clean my glasses

- Wipe my computer screen

- Throw in a laundry bag in my luggage

- Pack my toothpaste and toothbrush

- Put my camera battery back into the camera...don't forget the charger

- Charge my iPod

- Grab Freakonomics before I leave

- Get ready to meet all 70 million members of my family!

Peace,

Asil :)

I'm sick of packing

I'm sick of packing...nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey hey hey, goodbye (for now).

I have also been sleepless. There's been a LOT of thinking. I'm feeling optimistic about a lot of things. Something about this summer is different than any other summer. My first year of college was nothing short of amazing. I worked hard and played just as much. But Austin College has changed my life. Never did I expect to be involved in some of the things that I'm involved in today.

The summer has been pretty chill so far. But it will be a giant marathon from Saturday to the day classes start. I did actually start studying for my LSAT...2 years in advance. Eeeek. Well, it can't hurt. I just need to familiarize myself with the test.

I've met a lot of amazing people this summer. I'm definitely looking forward to staying really close with them. They're just fascinating and it's crazy how quickly we clicked.

In other news,

I
MISS
OMEGA
ZETA
SO
MUCH.

My beautiful sisters...what will I ever do without you?! It was bittersweet to see 10, yes 10!, of you graduate this year. I am beyond thrilled that I pledged. Never thought that I, Asil, would be a sorority girl. I repeat, NEVER. I guess that has a whole different meaning now :) I told some of these girls more things in four mere weeks than I did in the last four years. That's how well we all connected. I run out of words to describe my love for Omega Zeta.

I'm an insomniac.

Peace,
"Tour de Fleur"
Pledge Class 2009 :)