Winter break is coming to a close. I can't believe I go back to Sherman Sunday. I'm going back with the intention of staying there for JanTerm...those details actually haven't been set in stone yet. In fact, it's been recommended that I stay back in Plano for January. I'm not so keen about this idea, mostly because I'm eager to get things back to normal. I think JanTerm would be a good transition period.
Okay, so this is the nerd in me...which is usually pretty publically visible anyways so this may not come as a shock. But I was watching CSPAN today (yes, CSPAN) and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was invited to Georgetown University to be a good study break during finals week. She spoke on the Obama administration's approach to human rights and said something that was so striking that I ran around trying to find pen and paper to write it down:
"When injustice anywhere is ignored, justice everywhere is denied."
Now I remember why I am an international relations major. That gets fuzzy sometimes when you forget what your passion is amongst piles of papers to write and books to read and exams to study for.
In addition to my two passions -- human rights and Coldplay -- I think I've found a third one. U2! I've always liked them, never really listened to them. Today I was looking through some lyrics as I was listening to them and I realized how profound they were. How could I have neglected them for all these years?! Ah well, there's a time for everything...
Which reminds me...
1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
- Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Peace,
Asil :)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Till Kingdom Come
Till Kingdom Come
by Coldplay
And the wheels just keep on turning
And the drummer begins to drum
I don't know which way I'm going
I don't know which way I've come
For you I'd wait till kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
So we're what...starting our third week of winter break? Time is such an nonrenewable resource. If there's anything I've learned this semester, it's that.
Okay, confession. I've become a total Coldplay junkie. Going to one of their concerts before I die definitely has priority amongst other things on my bucket list. They are so great...their songs have been carrying a lot of meaning for me, especially recently. My mom actually likes them too, which is strange because she's also fond of bluegrass and country.
Speaking on which...I've been thinking about this bucket list of mine for a while. I don't think I'm ready to present the list yet. It's in physical writing, but only a few things are actually down on it. The others are just swimming through my head waiting for the commitment of pen to paper to become actual goals.
It's been a crazy semester, I have to admit. Everything came in polar opposites...either really good or really bad. Rarely did I have those ordinary days. Just like snowflakes, no two days this semester were even remotely alike. In retrospective, it's quite scary. It opened up my eyes a lot...I just wish it didn't happen the way it did.
There were a lot of things about this semester that were "never again" events.
I'm not a 100%...yet. But I will be. I PROMISE! Where there is life, there is hope. Right?
The worst part of it is just seeing yourself go uphill and getting such a good vibe from that, and then all of a sudden see it all crashing. For those of you who saw me frequently this semester...do you remember those times when I was rock bottom? Multiply that by 10. That was me Christmas Eve. For no freakin reason. It's a heaven burden on your faith. The confusion that follows it is only second to the awful feeling of crashing. Confusion seems like such a bad thing because humans are people who are troubled by impermanence. Does impermanence bother me? Heck yes. The fact that I'm terrible one night and filled with joy the next morning (okay, so it was Christmas morning) is SO CONFUSING. The impermanence of those feelings SUCK. It's a good thing to remember when I'm in a bad place, but an awful thing to remember when you're feeling great.
And so I count my blessings!
Exhibit A:
Dad: "Sometimes people will tell you that you can't have your meat and your milk together. But you know, Asil. We all live on the same farm. Everyone in this world does. There may be times when having your meat and milk together is a good, good thing! It's just out of the box."
I'm glad I can have a few weeks of nothing. Never have I ever felt that I desperately needed to do absolutely nothing. I'm a do-er...that doesn't even enter my mind, EVER! After one day of winter or summer break -- even after spending that day reading or running or DOING something -- I have this crazy urge that I have to research something. So I pick something and learn allllll about it. Last summer? It was French. But I have the attention span of a squirrel so that quickly changed into do-it-yourself gardening.
Exams went well, thank goodness...grades are pretty good. It snowed here Christmas Eve and we ended up having a white Christmas. Is was beautiful!!! Abe and I went to the park and sled down the hill near the playground.
Another winter break epiphany -- sometimes it's therapeutic to act like you're seven.
I'll have my bucket list up here before New Years hopefully :)
Peace,
Asil :)
PS- It's illegal to ship wine within Texas :( Note to self for Christmases to come.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Leopard-print Snuggie
I've always wanted a Snuggie...now I have. A leopard-print Snuggie! My cluster babies got me a Snuggie for my birthday!!!!! I am going to make As on all my exams now because I can comfortably study and my arms will still be free.
Two decades old.
The first 100 years are the hardest.
Peace,
Asil :)
Two decades old.
The first 100 years are the hardest.
Peace,
Asil :)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The Only Constant is Change
I usually am a reflective person, I've just gotten very lazy about writing in this blog.
Mmmmmm whatcha say? I guess we'll go with another stream of consciousness.
- Just got back from Chicago on Wednesday. Had a crazy overnight delay in Atlanta. Adnan, Marilyn, and I are BFFs now. Adnan and I were so sleep deprived that we got to a point where we were the equivalent of being legally drunk. We giggled at the gate to Dallas for a good 20 minutes about...Fiji water.
- Thanksgiving was great! Good food, good people. My sister's birthday was today too. And Eid started today! I'm glad to be home.
- My aunt from Saudi Arabia, her husband, and her four girls will be visitng us next weekend. This just adds so much more energy to what is already here in the Yassine household.
- Chicago was phenomenal. Joey and I rocked the WFP, I got to meet some cool people from Michigan and Venezuela, and I loved the city a lot. Model UN is such a drug.
- GOAL: To convince myself that no day in December is too cold to run in.
- Last three weeks have been rough rough rough rough. But life goes on.
- I really love Arrested Development. I don't know what I have been doing the last few years not watching that show!
- Lamb for Thanksgiving, Turkey for study abroad!
Now for the deep stuff...
I guess for the last few weeks (actually all this semester) I've been struggling a lot, particularly with telling myself "No". Sometimes it's good to put yourself first. Sometimes it's essential -- for your health, family, and friends. Sometimes it's good to tell yourself you can leave your problems at God's feet because we're only human and we need not carry all of this load. There are knots we cannot fix, people's mistakes that we cannot reverse, and decisions we have no say in. Life is democratic, but it is its own dictator sometimes. Fate exists to teach us lessons, to tell us that the sky really isn't the limit all the time. There are times when I look up and there's a ceiling. Our problems -- the big ones -- will somehow never just escape us. We're contained in the same room for a long, long time. They drive us insane, they upset us, anger us, make us shift the blame unto others, treat ourselves and our loved ones poorly. So then you feel crappy about yourself, about how you've changed and what you've missed out on. It seems like the entire world is at the mercy of your outlook on that particular day. Bad day? You'll be making everyone feel even crappier that they can't do anything to help. So then you feel crappy too, repeating the cycle over and over again. It's vicious.
I was always confused during the presentation at the beginning of flights when the flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first, and then help others. There would be a video of a middle-aged mother nonchalantly securing the straps around her head and then casually reaching over to her young toddler to help her with her mask. I remember asking my mother why on Earth you wouldn't help the girl with her mask first. It never made sense to me. Nobody really has an answer to that without sounding just a little bit selfish. I understand the rationale, I just won't accept it. Helping others has always been my passion -- I find it easy, enjoyable, and fulfilling. There have been times where I have been unable to help someone, but making an effort is something I tried. For the first time in my life, I've been faced with something that is completely out of my control. I cannot help something that I am passionately against happening. Nor will I practically be able to stop something of its kind in the future. I am so distant from it, yet so incredibly personally attached to it. It has something and everything to do with me, and something and everything to do with another individual, and something and everything to do with a couple dozen unsuspecting victims. I fear that there is something that I can do -- that I am too ignorant or scared to be aware of. And that makes me scared. It makes me terrified that I will realize this later and will never accept myself again. I see that happening easily because I am my own toughest critic.
But what I've come to realize (but not accept) is that sometimes I have to lay my problems down in front of God and just say, This is too much. There's a bit too much that I can't handle. I know in the end that everything will be alright. That all will fall into place. It's very, very, very tough accepting that right now...how could everything fall into place after all of this proceeds to happen? But I have to keep chugging forward to reach that point of acceptance. After that, everything is downhill.
"The only constant is change..."
Peace,
Asil
Mmmmmm whatcha say? I guess we'll go with another stream of consciousness.
- Just got back from Chicago on Wednesday. Had a crazy overnight delay in Atlanta. Adnan, Marilyn, and I are BFFs now. Adnan and I were so sleep deprived that we got to a point where we were the equivalent of being legally drunk. We giggled at the gate to Dallas for a good 20 minutes about...Fiji water.
- Thanksgiving was great! Good food, good people. My sister's birthday was today too. And Eid started today! I'm glad to be home.
- My aunt from Saudi Arabia, her husband, and her four girls will be visitng us next weekend. This just adds so much more energy to what is already here in the Yassine household.
- Chicago was phenomenal. Joey and I rocked the WFP, I got to meet some cool people from Michigan and Venezuela, and I loved the city a lot. Model UN is such a drug.
- GOAL: To convince myself that no day in December is too cold to run in.
- Last three weeks have been rough rough rough rough. But life goes on.
- I really love Arrested Development. I don't know what I have been doing the last few years not watching that show!
- Lamb for Thanksgiving, Turkey for study abroad!
Now for the deep stuff...
I guess for the last few weeks (actually all this semester) I've been struggling a lot, particularly with telling myself "No". Sometimes it's good to put yourself first. Sometimes it's essential -- for your health, family, and friends. Sometimes it's good to tell yourself you can leave your problems at God's feet because we're only human and we need not carry all of this load. There are knots we cannot fix, people's mistakes that we cannot reverse, and decisions we have no say in. Life is democratic, but it is its own dictator sometimes. Fate exists to teach us lessons, to tell us that the sky really isn't the limit all the time. There are times when I look up and there's a ceiling. Our problems -- the big ones -- will somehow never just escape us. We're contained in the same room for a long, long time. They drive us insane, they upset us, anger us, make us shift the blame unto others, treat ourselves and our loved ones poorly. So then you feel crappy about yourself, about how you've changed and what you've missed out on. It seems like the entire world is at the mercy of your outlook on that particular day. Bad day? You'll be making everyone feel even crappier that they can't do anything to help. So then you feel crappy too, repeating the cycle over and over again. It's vicious.
I was always confused during the presentation at the beginning of flights when the flight attendants tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first, and then help others. There would be a video of a middle-aged mother nonchalantly securing the straps around her head and then casually reaching over to her young toddler to help her with her mask. I remember asking my mother why on Earth you wouldn't help the girl with her mask first. It never made sense to me. Nobody really has an answer to that without sounding just a little bit selfish. I understand the rationale, I just won't accept it. Helping others has always been my passion -- I find it easy, enjoyable, and fulfilling. There have been times where I have been unable to help someone, but making an effort is something I tried. For the first time in my life, I've been faced with something that is completely out of my control. I cannot help something that I am passionately against happening. Nor will I practically be able to stop something of its kind in the future. I am so distant from it, yet so incredibly personally attached to it. It has something and everything to do with me, and something and everything to do with another individual, and something and everything to do with a couple dozen unsuspecting victims. I fear that there is something that I can do -- that I am too ignorant or scared to be aware of. And that makes me scared. It makes me terrified that I will realize this later and will never accept myself again. I see that happening easily because I am my own toughest critic.
But what I've come to realize (but not accept) is that sometimes I have to lay my problems down in front of God and just say, This is too much. There's a bit too much that I can't handle. I know in the end that everything will be alright. That all will fall into place. It's very, very, very tough accepting that right now...how could everything fall into place after all of this proceeds to happen? But I have to keep chugging forward to reach that point of acceptance. After that, everything is downhill.
"The only constant is change..."
Peace,
Asil
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Warrior
"Congratulations. You have been chosen to undergo a C2S pledgeship. This is NOT voluntary. You must be in front of the Clyce door facing Zauk at exactly 11:59 PM tonight. Your pledge captain will meet you there. NO EXCUSES."
Let's just say it was a good night.
Let's just say it was a good night.
Monday, October 19, 2009
LA VIE EST BELLE!
Things I have done in the past 48 hours:
- Drove to Oklahoma and back late at night
- Ate about 2,000 more calories than I usually do
- Had a heart-to-heart with Natalie over ice cream at Sonic
- Went to the symphony
- Realized how much I love Texas when crossing back over the border
- Thew up twice
- Woke up past noon
- Said “never again” repeatedly
- Apologized for being awkward repeatedly
- Learned what Mongolia’s flag looks like
- Got a quote on a flight to Bangladesh!
- Remembered the greatness of stepping stones...literally
- Learned how to say “good morning” and “Finland is a wonderful country!” in Finnish
- Met people I will never forget
- Watched two soccer games
- Avoided oranges for four consecutive days
- Said "Never again" repeatedly
- Danced and sang while Swiffering
- Apologized for being awkward repeatedly
- Changed the lyrics of the SNL Natalie Portman skit
- Danced on a lawn in front of the entire school
- Megaboxed with Hannah
- Met people I will never forget
- Danced in front of the entire school
- Shared the love
- Laughed out loud at text messages sent and received
- Saw someone who is supposed to be in Spain
- Learned how to say "good morning" in Finnish
- Read the Bible
- Skipped meals
- Cried while editing my creative writing midterm
- Cried hysterically
- Laughed hysterically
- Played IM football and enjoyed it a lot!
- Skipped meals
"Live like there's no tomorrow, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching."
- Mark Twain
Peace,
Asil
- Drove to Oklahoma and back late at night
- Ate about 2,000 more calories than I usually do
- Had a heart-to-heart with Natalie over ice cream at Sonic
- Went to the symphony
- Realized how much I love Texas when crossing back over the border
- Thew up twice
- Woke up past noon
- Said “never again” repeatedly
- Apologized for being awkward repeatedly
- Learned what Mongolia’s flag looks like
- Got a quote on a flight to Bangladesh!
- Remembered the greatness of stepping stones...literally
- Learned how to say “good morning” and “Finland is a wonderful country!” in Finnish
- Met people I will never forget
- Watched two soccer games
- Avoided oranges for four consecutive days
- Said "Never again" repeatedly
- Danced and sang while Swiffering
- Apologized for being awkward repeatedly
- Changed the lyrics of the SNL Natalie Portman skit
- Danced on a lawn in front of the entire school
- Megaboxed with Hannah
- Met people I will never forget
- Danced in front of the entire school
- Shared the love
- Laughed out loud at text messages sent and received
- Saw someone who is supposed to be in Spain
- Learned how to say "good morning" in Finnish
- Read the Bible
- Skipped meals
- Cried while editing my creative writing midterm
- Cried hysterically
- Laughed hysterically
- Played IM football and enjoyed it a lot!
- Skipped meals
"Live like there's no tomorrow, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching."
- Mark Twain
Peace,
Asil
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A Night in the Life of Micro and Political Psychology
One test down, two to go! It's midterms week and I'm super crazy running around trying to fit in time to study between Model UN stuff and work and Greek Week stuff and waxing XTX's body hair off and all the wonderful things that happen at Austin College!
I'm taking a study break from microeconomics right now...it's not tough stuff but I'm worried I'm too overconfident for this test. We just finished up round robins about an hour ago...made me realize how much I miss pledgeship!
I had an awful day yesterday...I was in tears all day long and breaking down because I hadn't slept and was extremely stressed about Lebanon stuff and new developments with that and the bomb plot at the building my dad works in in Downtown Dallas was freaking me out.
I will be done with my stressful week at 10 PM tomorrow, when our Model UN session wraps up! Then I'll be having a bit of fun with my twin ;) We've made it a tradition to wind down Wednesday nights. It's something I'm sure will continue!
Okaaaaaaaaaay, back to studying!
A song for you:
I would not dump my complaints with all there is to say,
So hey God you can sit back you can lay all your weary troubles on us,
And God we will not pray not today.
I say this is your day off cause today it's gonna be a good day.
Peace,
Asil
I'm taking a study break from microeconomics right now...it's not tough stuff but I'm worried I'm too overconfident for this test. We just finished up round robins about an hour ago...made me realize how much I miss pledgeship!
I had an awful day yesterday...I was in tears all day long and breaking down because I hadn't slept and was extremely stressed about Lebanon stuff and new developments with that and the bomb plot at the building my dad works in in Downtown Dallas was freaking me out.
I will be done with my stressful week at 10 PM tomorrow, when our Model UN session wraps up! Then I'll be having a bit of fun with my twin ;) We've made it a tradition to wind down Wednesday nights. It's something I'm sure will continue!
Okaaaaaaaaaay, back to studying!
A song for you:
I would not dump my complaints with all there is to say,
So hey God you can sit back you can lay all your weary troubles on us,
And God we will not pray not today.
I say this is your day off cause today it's gonna be a good day.
Peace,
Asil
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